The Grand Canyon. The 8th Wonder of the World. (http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/travel/news/2006-11-23-7-wonders-grand-canyon_x.htm)
That’s all I need to say for the introduction.
This view back into The History has NOTHING to do with The BPR SingleSpeed Lifestyle. This history lesson is about pictures of the 8th Wonder of the World. And I’m using This Forum, as I own This Forum, as a tool to document events and distribute pictures. Yeah. I need to provide proof to The Madre that her Little Brother, Little Cousin, and Little Son actually went to church 3 times a day and executed Yoga Moves for 4 hours a day. No Joke. Jokester.
So… check out the pics or get the hell off my site. JUST JOKING!
The Cast of Characters
The Crazy Uncle, aka, The Madre’s Hermano
The Crazy Cousin, aka, The Madre’s Cousin
The Not-So-Crazy Cousin, aka, The Philosofizer’s Cousin.
The Cousin Junior, aka, The Philosofizer’s Cousin’s Kid.
Just a Ramble
Ok. You can say what you want about chaos and Ludacracy. But the true test of FAMILY is a vacation… a vacation with the freaks that live with the same gene mutation as you. The freaks that you gotta deal with cuz of Family Blood. So you walk into the situation SCARED to DEATH of The Relatives. Then you walk out of the situation realizing that the best vacation imaginable IS A VACATION with your relatives. That’s right. All bad grammar and bad sentences structure aside. I’d go anywhere with my crazy relatives. Because crazy is as crazy does. And damn. The Morgan Gene Mutation is proof that some humans have a unquantifiable percentage of Alien DNA. Seriously. Enough Said.
THE HIKE IN: The hike in started out with the Crazy Cousin chill’n on the bus to South Kaibab Trail. Then the dude started freaking out – sweating bullets. He jumped up and ran to the bus driver. He was just about to DEMAND that the bus driver turn around. BUT The Not-So-Crazy Cousin asked “What’s Up”. The Crazy Cousin said “I forgot my pack at the lodge.” Well, we reminded the dude that his fanny pack was on his fanny. Yeah. You had to be there. It was funny. AND by the way, I will never us the word ‘fanny’ again in my life. Unless I find a super foxy mama named ‘Fanny’. I could happen. Dude. Dudette.
THE CRAPPER: The Crazy Uncle has this issue. He must stop at every crapper no matter what. Just because it’s there. Serious. It’s weird. It really is
THE STRANGE(ER) RANGER: We ran (sorry, walked into) a ranger on the way out. We did some small talk. Did a few high 5s. Exchanged addresses, home brew recipes, and all that other crap. Anyway. The Crazy Uncle wanted to make a formal complaint about the trail conditions on the South Kaibab Trail. (Probably just a joke from the retired senior citizen that missed his golf cart.) Anyway. The Stranger Ranger cut off The Crazy Uncle and proceeded to explain that The South Kaibab Shuffle is a Badge of Honor (Honour). As soon as The Crazy Uncle heard Badge of Honor… The Crazy Uncle got a little bounce in his step. Yeah. That freak was headed to the South Rim bar with his Badge of Honor and gonna spread some stories or lies or whatever. (Ok. Just joking. The Crazy Uncle only hit the South Rim bar to see if The Crazy Cousin and The Philosofizer were still a) horizontal, b) still breathing, c) gonna avoid the Grand Canyon Jail.)
THE LADY RANGER: For some reason The Crazy Uncle wanted a picture of The Lady Ranger. So The Crazy Uncle pulled The Cousin Junior from the picnic bench and said “Lady Ranger, my grand daughter wants to be a lady ranger. Can we get a picture”. The Cousin Junior was not amused. But played along. As she is a unique kid and actually understands the phrase ‘Love and Respect Your Elders… especially if there is a possible Inheritance to look forward too.’ So. The picture was snapped – digital style – and The Lady Ranger felt obligated to tell The Cousin Junior of The Ranger Risks. Example. Gotta carry a gun… just incase someone wakes up with a bad attitude. (I may have twisted that quote a bit, or not. Or not.)
THE 3 NOTCH HIKE OUT: Us athletes at the back of the pack… family style… where put’n the hammer down on the hike out. Even the Senior Citizens were CRUSHING IT. And funny thing. I had to cinch up my belt 3 notches over the 1st 3 hours. I ain’t Joke’n this time. So I had a goal… A 4 NOTCH HIKE OUT. Once I set that goal… it was game time. We shifted into overdrive. We set a record breaking pace for the last 4.5 hours. And did I hit the 4th notch. No. Well, Maybe. I was so damn tired, so damn thirsty, so wanted to hit the bar, that I didn’t give a crap if my shorts fell off. So I never bothered to CINCH IT UP. Just the facts. Nothing More.
THE PANO: Did you know that kids these days can execute a Cupertino Pano and get 4 images of one human doing different poses all in one pano. If you don’t know what I’m talking about… then you won’t understand. AND to throw you a curve ball based in Alien Physics – if you roll out with a Morgan Gene Mutation this Cupertino Pano will prove that Alien DNA exists and the hands / feet / head can actually be caught… in the digital world… disconnected from the torso. BUT ONLY if you carry the Morgan Gene Mutation. Yeah. If you don’t know what I’m talking about… then you won’t understand. Dude. Dudette. But I’m positive that my two awesome nieces know – or will understand – exactly what The Cousin Junior demonstrated to us.
THE SAMSUNG B.S. P.O.S: There is this pile of crap called a ‘samsung‘. I was f’n shocked. This thing is designed ‘way over there, across the Pacific‘ and actually has a camera, a calendar and can even be used for text’n. Damn. To think some crazy relatives of mine would actually use a device that wasn’t ‘designed in Cupertino’ is beyond me. FREAKS. But I’m glad it’s all working out for The Crazy Uncle. Yeah. Unreliable.
The Conspiracies. (Remember. Conspiracy Theories are no longer Theories if back by FACT. Just Say’n.)
It’s well known that The Crazy Uncle has Crazy Idea. But the rest of Planet Earth must learn from this dude’s Alternate Reality. I know I did. Below are a few examples of documented conspiracies that The Crazy Uncle Educated us on.
TURKEY AND GROSS DARK MEAT: It’s a documented fact that all Morgans like dark turkey meat. THANK GOD I’m only 1/2 Morgan. (The higher quality 1/2 is all ROHWER. Just Say’n.) Anyway. dark turkey meat is DISGUSTING. But all Morgans like that crap. Well. The Crazy Uncle explained to us neophytes that before the Kennedy Administration all turkey meat was dark meat. That’s right. That slimy, grizzly, greasy, gross dark meat was ALL THAT EXISTED. Then during the Kennedy Administration The Democrats introduced white meat. The Crazy Uncle explained it was an Identity Issue. The Democrats needed and therefore created a new identity that differentiated them from The Republicans. Are you confused. Well, I am too. So. My question to The Crazy Uncle. What about Brown Eggs? White Eggs? Same story. Probably. Because those dinosaur reptilian based things called Turkeys come from eggs that are deposited from The MotherShip. That’s a well know fact.
BREAKFAST: The Crazy Uncle explained that BREAKFAST was invented by General Mills in the late 1930s. The Crazy Uncle explained that General Mills invented this food product called ‘cereal‘. The greedy freaks that invented cereal didn’t know what do to with it… didn’t know how to market cereal. So… with the help of Roosevelt these freaks invented BREAKFAST. And the rest is history. (Could this be a primary cause of Obesity? If humans were designed – by aliens – to only ‘need’ two meals a day, then General Mills and BREAKFAST is the cause of obesity. Makes sense to me.)
PEANUTS: I like peanuts. The sack lunches at Phantom Ranch contain peanuts. The Crazy Uncle and The Not-So-Crazy Cousin don’t like peanuts. So I ate their peanuts. BUT The Crazy Uncle explained to me that Peanuts are a conspiracy from the day of The Carter Administration. BUT I was a) to busy eating peanuts, b) laughing to hard to actually follow this conspiracy. So… just understand that peanuts are a conspiracy and The Carter Administration is behind it.
NOODLES: Noodles seem to be the biggest f*^k’n conspiracy in the country. Why? I have no idea. I’m still laughing at the peanut conspiracy. But the moral of the story is a) eat more raw steak, b) eat less noodles, c) avoid all fish, d) eat more raw steak. End of story.
LETTUCE: There is only one lettuce. Iceberg. Because it is The lettuce. All other forms of lettuce are just mutations to get the obese freaks thinking they can pay more, eat more and be skinny. (Actually. I made all that up. All I know is that The Crazy Uncle said IceBerg Lettuce is The Lettuce. All other crap is just that… crap.) I never figured out the conspiracy behind lettuce. But I’ll get back to you. Or not.
Stupid is as Stupid Does… slightly stoopid
if you want to read about some crazy s*^t… check out these links.
and even though I think a grand canyon escalade is dumb… I stop an think about people with disabilities or senior – senior citizens. There is something to say about ALL HUMANS having the opportunity to see the beauty of the Grand Canyon at all levels of the action. So. I don’t what you hear what you f*^k’n think about that… just think about that.
AND… before all the data…
IT MUST suck to be a Patriots Fan… after a Denver win. Huh Crazy Cousin?
The Setting… The Scene of The Family Fueled Chaos
AND NOW THE PICS
NOT FORMATTED and DOWN SELECTED for your enjoyment. UNFORMATTED and COMPLETE DATA DUMP for The History Book and for The Madre’s entertainment!
The Day Down
The Day In: A ton of Bridge Pics. But it’s my posting and I like The Bridge.
The Day Out
Mess’n with the iPhone Processing #1
Mess’n with the iPhone Processing #2
And to Reinforce the Concept…. let’s get slightly stoopid
and… if you made it this far. Let’s jam out to Static-X. And please talk a moment for Wayne Static that passed away on Nov 1 2014. Think what you want. Say what you want. But jam out on Love Dump. Just Because.