BACK OF THE PACK RACING: COLORADO SINGLE SPEED BIKE BUILDER DEVIANT Chapter… Hooligan Style.
BPR CO SS BB DEV: a subchapter of Back of the Pack Colorado… Single Speed Bike Builder Deviant crew. Which is a shift into the 4th dimension when compared to the Back of the Pack Colorado Chapter, the CO chapter that is about Peace, Love, Harmony and Diversity. Or Something like that. But, in the end, we are all just one happy family. Ok? OK!
————BPR Colorado Chapter SS BB DEV Operating Instructions————-
- Alternate Reality………………5
1.1 Colorado BPR is, at its core, in full alignment with the umbrella organisation, Back of the Pack Racing, New Mexico. For any and all questions on or discrepancies with these OI, the BPR NM OI shall be referenced.
1.2 At it’s heart, BPR Colorado is a kind, accepting and caring organisation of misfit soles. Any actions shall be in accordance with this. Nobody likes a dickhead, don’t be one and attempt to roll with BPRCO.
1.3 Our aim shall be to have good time, promote and inform of the Alternate Reality, and ride bikes…and drinking is encouraged as well.
1.4 Fraternity with fellow BPR members shall be held paramount. It is this bond among BPR brethren, and sisteren, that makes BPR what it is. Respect for this concept shall be unwavering.
2.1 Single and Rigid. Period.
2.2 Exceptions. Gears (more than one) shall be regarded as excessive, unnecessary, and altogether unwarranted. Those choosing to run gears should aim to do so away from other members and not while flying BPR colors. Section 1.2 can be disregarded when dealing with patched members who aren’t in accordance with 2.1, but not with those who don’t identify with the gang…again, don’t be a dick.
2.3 Exceptions. Suspension shall be regarded as excessive, unnecessary, and altogether unwarranted. Those choosing to run gears should aim to do so away from other members and not while flying BPR colors. Section 1.2 can be disregarded when dealing with patched members who aren’t in accordance with 2.1, but not with those who don’t identify with the gang…again, don’t be a dick.
2.4 For those who aren’t in accordance with 2.1, no excuses or justifications shall be openly expressed. Please keep these poor choices to yourself and don’t attempt to explain your poor life choices to others.
2.5 All equipment choices that maximise raddness are encouraged. Rad choices shall include but not limited to; Coaster brakes, fat tires (fatter the better), flat pedals, Klunker styles, etc. Don’t assume that your equipment choices are rad, for guidance reference David DaBeard Sears of ND, David McDonnell of Kansas.
2.6 Duddettes shall be exempt from all equipment guidelines but extra points are awarded for those showing enthusiasm for the tenants of single and rigid.
3.1 No Spandex
3.1.1 Exceptions: none really. See 3.4
3.2 A loose fitting knee length short is acceptable.
3.3 Uniform: a quality plaid shirt makes the most appropriate BPR uniform patches shall be laid out with name, equipment designations, state flag, descriptors and the like on sleeves and breast with the large patch located mid-upper back. For more information on patch layout refer to page 19 or BPRNM Operating Instructions.
3.3.1 Those who choose to participate in races or events in flagrant violation of section 3 and 3 should not wear their BPR uniform.
3.4 Dudettes are encouraged to follow their own code when it comes to uniforms. Being a babe, wearing sheer attire (or not) are all acceptable and in accordance with BPRCO. Wearing a ‘team kit’ and being racey isn’t encouraged but if that’s how you like to do it, do it, you’re a dudette.
4.1 BPR is a fraternity of those who ride and enjoy bikes as well as create chaos in the face of conventional bike racing. Brethren and sisteren who lose sight of this end goal shall be reminded of why we do what we do. Gears, spandex, being a dick just don’t fit with how we roll. Will you be castrated? Nope. Will you be reminded as to why we do what we do…hopefully.
4.2 Concessions can be made for those who roll with shifty or squishy bits if that mean retaining members who roll in accordance with 1.2. Those who are flagrant in their defiance shall be shunned and reprimanded. If you roll a derailleur, shut the fuck up about it and don’t tell the world why you think it’s ok.
4.3 Chaos and counter conventional behaviour at all organised events is encouraged to the fullest. Those who demonstrate wild antics at events shall be encouraged. Even if it’s late and inconvenient. Drinking to excess is very much a part of our main goal which is stirring shit up at the Back of the Pack.
5.1 BPR is a beer drinking bunch. Drinking is encouraged but not required. The end goal is chaos which is generaly increased with drunkeness.
5.2 IPA is the offical beer flavor of BPRCO
5.3 The consumption of other intoxicants is also encouraged as long as it’s done in accorandce with 1.2.
6.1 While representing BPR respect shall be given to all founding members and their tenants for behaviour. Morale Chairman, The Philosiphiser, and The Lt Corneal shall be allowed to behave in accordance with their own whims as BPR as an organisation originally existed within the alternate reality that occupies their own mindspace, their own simulations.
6.2 It shall be recognised that at it’s core, BPR is a chaos inspired racing organisation. Those wishing with excel within the ‘front of the back of the pack’, or the ‘back of the back of the pack’ shall be given respect as competitors. Riding bikes should not be forgotten amongst all chaos created.
7.0 ALTERNATE REALITY
7.1 Also known as the BPR Reality, it should be known to all members as the reality that exists when two or more members are in the presence of one another.
7.2 The Alternate Reality operates under different laws of physical and social order than the reality at large. Extra terrestrial and life forms from the spirit world have direct access to this new reality, don’t be surprised by their presence.
7.3 When two or more members are present it should be noted that a significant shift from regular day to day order of things will occur. Loud and boisterous interactions become more frequent. Skidding and wheelies are also things that seem to fit in with the new order of things.
7.4 The Philosiphizer shall be referenced for an ever changing definition of The Alternate Reality.
The Story Before The Story
aka Cjell aka His Preeminence
if you want a professional write-up of Cjell Mone… clink on this link Baja Divide Profile / His Preeminence.
if you want The Philosofizer’s set of cliff notes then continue on.
The Official BPR Statement on Cjell Mutha F*^k’n Mone:
Everyone knows Cjell and if you don’t know Cjell then you don’t know about successful execution of The Roaming Lifestyle in The Alternate Reality.
Cjell is the type of dude that builds his own bike, rides it to Mexico, cruises down through Costa Rica, then races it to Canada. Cjell is the type of guy that gets a wicked tattoo across his back & ribs THE NIGHT before his historic Mexico to Canada race – Tour Divide / NorthBound 2012. Cjell is the type of guy that tours the world on $5 / day, just because he can and we can’t. Cjell Mone is the type of guy that builds bikes out of the back of his Chinook camper. Because he can and we can’t. Cjell is the BPR Roaming Chapter, based out of the BPR Colorado chapter, and we all look up (or down) to Cjell. Just because.
aka Trey Stiles
Trey is a dude that you may never know. Hell. I don’t even know Trey. But I know a dude who knows a dude that may know Trey. No Joke. But I think I saw the dude once. But the dude always has on some crazy mask and some crazy a$$ torch in his hand. Kinda crazy medieval shit. Kinda scary. And I’m fearless.
Anyway, rumor has it hat Trey has a serious addiction to titanium. Yeah. The Founding Fathers have incurable addictions to Black Sheep Titanium. But Trey has a serious addiction to RAW TITANIUM. Much different Dude. Much different.
And, as the pictures below show, the dude creates titanium machines and rages on the titanium machines. How cool is that? Rumor has it that Trey is a 9 (?) time finisher of the Leadville 100. But the dude is also the 1st time champion of Single Speed New Mexico Championships, unauthorized & unannounced adventure in Ludacracy. Both are huge accomplishments for a single speed freak. And this single speed freak will challenge both BPR Iowa’s Front Man and Cjell Mone and Corbin. Hell. If the race is long enough, my money is on Trey.
Yeah. Say what you want about addicts and addictions. But, at the back of the pack, an addiction to RAW TITANIUM is one addiction that we all want, we all need. And we are psyched that Trey Stiles has the skills to fuel his addiction and to fuel OUR addiction… at the back of the pack.
Corbin aka CB-100 aka Sticky Buns
if you want a professional write-up of Corbin… clink on this link Baja Divide Profile.
if you want The Philosofizer’s set of cliff notes then continue on.
The Official BPR Statement on Corbin:
The Founding Fathers can’t figure out if Corbin or Cjell is the ‘kid’ at the back of the pack. But what we do know is that Cjell and Corbin, the dudes that wrote the BPR CO SS BB DEV Chapter Operating Instructions, are fucking fast. Like BPR Front Man fast and like BPR Trey Stiles Fast. What we don’t know is if these young punks roll with Chick Magnet credentials that rival The Philosofizer’s credentials. Probably… look at that ‘six pack’ and ‘package’ below. Impressive! And that’s just what your mom told me.
So, to be serious, or not. Corbin is that super freak that has no limits, skips 2nd gear and throws it right into overdrive, and isn’t afraid to push his Black Sheep Titanium SS machine to the limits and beyond.
Yep. The dude is only like 150 lbs but it’s clear that his p=mv >>>> the p=mv of The Philosofizer. Get it? Can you do the math? if not. look me up. bring a beer. I’ll educate you. Maybe.
In Waiting…. In Waiting…
File the PaperWork… Dude