05: BPR CO

BACK OF THE PACK RACING: Colorado Chapter

Follow this link for the official BPR Colorado website…

http://backofthepackracing-co.blogspot.com

Editorial from The Philosofizer:  Years and Years ago The Founding Fathers traveled to the US Air Force Academy (The Lt Col’s old Stomping ground) and created a big of local ludacracy with a ‘fellow’ competitor and his ‘pit crew’. The History is left in The History, i.e., I won’t go into the events that took place.  But the outcome was a Diverse Crew of Dudes and Dudettes that converge at select races. This ‘Diversity’ can be defined by a comparison between The BPR Global Operating Instructions and the BPR CO Operating Instructions. That’s right. And how did this happen? Connect The Dots…. The Fundamental Rules of Chapter Development is that The Chapter Leader defines the Local Rules. And IF the Chapter Leader roles with the XX Chromosome makeup then the Chapter Operating Instructions could / may / will contain ANYTHING. And that is the basics of how The BPR CO Chapter operates…. which is characterized by FAST RACERS &  Peace & Love & Harmony & DIVERSITY.

And, full disclosure, The Founding Fathers installed a subchapter of BPR CO. This subchapter is official marked as the BPR CO SS BB Dev chapter. (Find the appropriate tab above.) This subchapter is a group of radial single speeders that effectively follow no rules, although there is a one ‘mature / established / polite / professional’ dude in this Crew. 

Back of the Pack Racing – Colorado Operating Instructions

By the Authority granted to the Chapter Leader by the Founding Fathers, the Colorado Chapter hereby adopts the following charter for Operation.

1.0 Colorado Chapter Mission, Vision and Intent

1.1 Mission 
The mission of the Colorado Chapter of BPR is to promote mountain bike riding alongside racing, with an emphasis on fun, comradery and finding the biggest rocks to ride off of as possible.

1.2 Vision
BPR Colorado has the vision of traveling the least distance possible for the most fun events, riding bikes as hard as possible, encouraging a love of riding while passing as many far too serious riders as possible. It’s about racing hard, riding fun and hanging out with like-minded cycle addicts.       

1.2 Intent

Ride Bikes! Have fun! Race Bikes! Find rocks to play on…. Encourage other to follow suit.

2.0 Colorado Chapter Two Wheeled Self Propelled Vehicles (AKA Bikes)

2.1 Requirements
All members of BPR CO are required to have a bike of some kind. 
      2.1.1 If it fits you, ride it and have fun.
      2.1.2 Wheel size is dependent on bike fit. All wheels sizes are acceptable to BPR CO .

2.2 Suspension Rules

Rocks are fun. Big rocks are more fun. Therefore, suspension will be allowed with provisions in the BPR CO chapter. Provisions will be provided on a case by case basis by the Chapter Leader. Bribes are accepted.
      2.2.1 Forks make the ride smoother. Enough said.
      2.2.2 Sometimes having full squish is worth the weight. 

2.3 Gears

Since only one gear can be used at a time, members of the BPR CO crew will be allowed to ride geared bikes as needed. 

      2.3.1  Full squish bikes equal fun single speed bikes

3.0 Colorado Chapter Apparel AKA The Look AKA Kits

3.1 The Look
As it is understood by the BPR CO Chapter Leader that prospective members may have outside obligations for racing kits, PLAID & PATCHES will not be a requirement during Chapter Events AKA Races. HOWEVER – if possible and as applicable, the appropriate color PLAID as designated by the Chapter Leader with appropriate PATCHES (contact The Founding Fathers for detailed information) should be worn before and after Chapter Events AKA Races.
    3.1.1 If Chapter Members have other team Kits, those commitments take priority.
    3.1.2 If there are no other Team Kit equipments, Chapter Members can wear whatever is comfortable for distance of event. Bright colors are encouraged, especially neon green socks.

3.2 Functional Clothes AKA spandex
While it is understood that The Founding Fathers have strict guidelines against Dudes wearing spandex, the BPR CO chapter realizes that Functional Clothes can promote improved performance while on the Bike, which will allow for more Liquid Advil later. It is also understood that Chapter Members may be required to wear Functional Clothes for various reasons. As such, Functional Clothes will be allowed for all Chapter Members but only during specific and limited times.

    3.2.1 Functional clothes are limited to the time when astride Two Wheeled Self Propelled Vehicle AKA bikes or within a narrow window when preparing to ride or following ride. This rule applies to both Dudes and Dudettes equally. 

    3.2.2 Chapter Members must change out of Functional Clothes as soon as possible following completion of ride or race. Chapter Members found hanging out in sweaty Functional Clothes will be roundly ridiculed.

       3.2.2.1 The ONLY exception to this rule is if Chapter Member is racing Duo and will be heading out for another lap within a short period of time following completion of prior lap

3.3 Comfort Rules

When there is inclement weather, all rules regarding BPR CO Chapter apparel can be disregarded. Anything goes.

4.0 Membership of the Colorado Chapter

4.1 Membership of the BPR CO Chapter will be determined on a case by case basis, but will be judged on love of riding, engagement with other riders and etiquette while on Two Wheeled Self Propelled Vehicle AKA Bikes. Resumes will be accepted at any time.

   4.1.1 If you can’t say hi or wave at another rider, don’t even think about submitting a resume for membership.

   4.1.2 J@ck@$$ riders with poor trail etiquette will be laughed at.

   4.1.3 Riders who epitomize CAT 2 syndrome will ridiculed.
   4.1.4 Riders who frequently suffer from Ponytail syndrome will be dropped, preferably in the most technical section of trail

4.2 Member Requirements of the BPR CO Chapter will include but not be limited to the following:

   4.2.1 To be determined by Chapter Leader.

   4.2.2 A pilgrimage to the Chapter Gathering at The Best Party at a Mountain Bike Race will be required at least once, preferably annually.

   4.2.3 A self supported ride to the Bike Packing Camping Spot with the BPR CO Chapter Leader and/or the Pit Boss.

      4.2.3.1 If you don’t know who the Pit Boss is, you need to do some research before submitting your resume.

5.0 Nutrition Requirements of the BPR CO Chapter.

5.1 As the BPR CO Chapter is based on the principles of Fun, Fast and Friendship, there are specific Nutrition Requirements that will be strictly enforced while attending Chapter Events.

   5.1.1 Functional and Engineered Foods are highly discouraged. Real food is the choice of the Chapter Leader and Pit Boss. Real Food items include Glutard Cake, Snickers bars, Potatoes, Bacon and other such edible items.

   5.1.2 Gourmet Menus of easy to eat Real Food items that will make the entire camp jealous are a requirement when attending Chapter Events

      5.1.2.1 Bonus points will be awarded for grilling steak mid Chapter Event.

   5.1.3 Marshmellows are for sharing.

5.2 Adult Beverages AKA Liquid Advil of any nature are highly encouraged for socializing before, during and after Chapter Events. 

   5.2.1 Specifics of Adult Beverages AKA Liquid Advil will be left up to individual Chapter Members as it is understood that there are many different tastes and tolerances. Utilization of Chapter Event provided Adult Beverages AKA Liquid Advil is encouraged.

   5.2.2 If the Pit Boss is not actively racing, then his services may be obtained thru bartering with Adult Beverages AKA Liquid Advil. You better know what he likes if you plan on utilizing his services.
   5.2.3 Magnums of cheap, sweet wine will never be ridiculed during Chapter Events 

6.0 Etcetera

6.1 This Charter may be modified at any time by the BPR CO Chapter Leader or by the Pit Boss. Do not assume that what you are reading reflects the most recent updates to the BPR CO Chapter Charter.

6.2 If it is not addressed in this Charter, then the Global BPR Rules will apply.

Profiles of the Crew

check this link for the ‘official’ profiles created by The BPR CO Leader…

http://backofthepackracing-co.blogspot.com/p/chapter-crew.html

or read below for additional profil-if-ic information courtesy of The Philosofizer.

Tracy & The Pit Boss

Tracy & The Pit Boss dominate the coed duo category at any and all 12 hr / 24 hour races. The freakish duo is also in the hardcore endurance races… because they are that freakish. This dynamic duo approaches endurances races like the rest of The Crew approach hooliganism… via training, both psychological and physical.

Yep, the dou are serious racers , like Professional Racers with real sponsors and stuff. With that being said THEY get The Lifestyle and hang at the back of the pack… except when they are leading the pack.

We really can’t figure out why such awesome racers hang at the back of the pack. Maybe they need an outlet via an input to The Alternate Reality. You see, at the back of the pack, it is a gave / take environment that promotes championship caliber performances. Speaking of that…

Tracy1

Tracy is the reigning 24 Hour Solo National Champion. Should I stop here? Probably not. Tracy is also The Leader of the BPR Colorado Chapter. So watch out. She is in charge and stay out of her way.

Tracy2

Nick1

The Pit Boss lives and operates in super secret mode. This guy is so far removed from social media that we have no way to verify his existence… other than the fact that he shows up to races, runs the pit and drinks miniature Bud Lights, stays gluten free ALL THE WHILE that he ensures that Tracy is keeping her cranks turning.  But when The Pit Boss isn’t the Pit Boss the dude is one crazy single speed (and gear’d) freak that has an… unacceptable preference of spandex. Yep. The pit Boss is a work in process. But most super freaks are.

Nick2

Drew

aka, Drew.

Drew is the 3rd dude that rolls with the BPR CO crew via the Colorado Springs connection. But Drew lives The Lifestyle defined by The Pit Boss. Meaning completely cut off from the world & BPR Operations. So, through the grapevine, we know that Drew is breathing oxygen and riding his bike. Everything else… no idea. A complete mystery.

Drew1

Jim

aka Jim, aka The Durango Connection

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Jim currently resides in Durango Colorado, I think. Location not defined. Jim is a long time friend of The Brothers via The Durango Connection. Big Jim introduced the transportation tools called ‘cruisers’ and ‘unicycles’ to young and dumb kids that now roll via the aliases of The Philosofizer and The Morale Chairman. Yep, Jim spent many years educating The Brothers on Life, Reality, Bikes and Chaos. By the way, rumor has it that Jim still holds the BPR Ice Cream chucking record – which has past the test of time, since 1984. What am I talking about? You don’t need to know. Jim probably doesn’t even remember.

JC Uni

 

Kelly

aka Stick Figure

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Stick sprouted from the Virginia forests and is a roaming Gnome.  She lives in the dirt and is a creature of her own kind.  She’s raced 24 Solo and has proved a quick study in all things bike-packing related. Except for that stick incident… But that’s for her to explain if she chooses.

stickpic

Duane

aka Flounder

Profile… in The 1st Person: My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.  So maybe that’s not all true, but I was definitely born a child.  I’m a recovering runner.  “Hi my name is Flounder and my 5k PR is…”  You know, shit like that.  My final legendary (only losers don’t know of it) performance at the Marine Corps Marathon left me with stress fracture in both legs so I started riding a road bike and I liked it.  DON’T JUDGE ME.  After moving to Colorado I’ve managed to rack up an impressive list of DFLs on a mountain bike.  Sometimes, when I think no one is looking I ride my road bike all scantily clad in stretchy clothes, only to find myself in the shower afterwards feeling like a dirty little girl in a scene straight out of The Crying Game.  Remember what I said about your judgement?  That still holds.  Fat, drunk  and stupid is no way to go through life.  So go ride your bike!

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