BACK OF THE PACK RACING: New Mexico Chapter… THE MOTHERSHIP CHAPTER
Chapter Operating Instructions
Refer to the BPR GLOBAL OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS…. All Rules in the Global Operating Instructions will be followed by all dudes in the BPR NM Crew. No exceptions, No DIVERSITY allowed. The RULES are The RULEZ. Unless… unless you are FOXY and roll with the XX Chromosome makeup… then you can be whoever you want and do whatever you want. Just say’n
Future Deviations from The Global Operating Instructions:
Options The Founding Fathers will Consider:
- A Downhill Team… hint hint to all of our friends out there that rage on the BIG BIKES.
- Uh… no other options. as of TODAY.
Profiles of The Crew… of The Mothership Chapter
The Founding Fathers
Judd: THE Founding Father
aka: The Founder, The Leader, The Philosofizer, The Hustorian, The Chick Magnet
The Judd conveniently arrived in this world as The Brother of Tedd. The rest is….chaos. Judd spends his days dreaming of…things. He has a job, a good job. Many people don’t know what he does, hell Judd can’t even explain what he does. (Or should we say – won’t.) When in comes to bike racing Judd will do anything to avoid the dead last position. This usually results in one of the B.P.R. members being thrown ‘under the bus’ by The Judd.
The Judd is the B.P.R. Team Leader, The Judd is a Philosofizer, The Judd is a Hustorian. These FACTS cannot and will not be debated. The Judd is a Chick Magnet. This fact is often debated. Usually debated in global internet sociological study groups. Women simply can’t resist The Judd….until The Judd opens his mouth and starts Philosofizing. Once the Philosfizing starts, The Judd usually finds himself alone, like in minutes.
The Judd’s leadership capabilities are often tested by the B.P.R. Team. Why? How? Well, the team can’t be led. Back of the Pack is a team of individuals. Each individual has his / her own agenda. Each individual is skilled in the use of the two words “Screw You”. So, leadership takes the back seat to Philosofizing and Psycologizing.
Someday The Judd will reign in the racers, someday Back of the Pack will challenge the big teams – the teams with all the money and all the babes. Until then the B.P.R. Philosofizer will moonlight as the B.P.R. Hustorian and continue to bring the B.P.R fan club great race reviews and honest soliloguies.
The Morale Chairman: A Founding Father
aka: The TeddNeck, The Morale Chairman
Tedd, The Morale Chairman, The Brother of The Judd. What should we say about Tedd? Do we need to say anything? Look at this picture. Scan through the B.P.R. blog. This dude is scary. Hell, I’m scared writing this bio.
Tedd is a man of few words and fewer miles. Tedd doesn’t believe in training. He doesn’t believe in bike riding between bike races. Tedd simply moth balls the titanium beast and waits for the next 24 Hour race. Tedd’s training (lack of) philosophy is very effective for 24 hour races. He believes in achieving absolute pain as early as possible, thus he implements a steady state pain management solution. Not a bad idea – for dudes as scary as Tedd.
Tedd’s role in Back of the Pack Racing is simple. Tedd is the B.P.R. Morale Chairman. I don’t need to explain this – just look at the above picture. Enough said. And if that leaves you questioning Morale. Then check out this picture.
The Lt Col (ret): A Founding Father
aka: The Back of the Pack Elder Statesman
The Lt Col (ret) is only motivated by 3 things: 1) titanium, 2) breakfast burritos, 3) porcelain. The Lt Col holds the Back of the Pack 24 hour breakfast burrito record, the record is 17 Golden Pride breakfast burritos integrated into a 160 mile ride at 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo.
Deuce aka The Chief Operating Officer
aka Deuce Durden aka The Pipe Fit’r
Just like Jolly, we have no clue what Deuce’s real name is. Hell, if he had a driver license I guess we could swipe it and check out the details. But rumor has it that this dude rolls so low, like low and undercover, that he has no government issued IDs. Anyway, Deuce is just ‘that’ guy that buys bikes, sells bikes, rides bikes, talks about bikes. And the dude has stepped up to do all the dirty work for the founding fathers. We like to think that Deuce is The Visionary that promotes The Vision in The Alternate Reality – which is constructed by The Founding Fathers. Which kinda leads to the obvious that Deuce will soon be transferred to BPR New Mexico and roll with The title BPR COO – like The Operations Dude or The Chief or something. Yeah. titles are everything, so will get this straightened out.
Prob-eee…. a dude that retired in place
aka: Prob-eee, The F’n Hippie
First things first. The B.P.R. Founding Members (The Judd, The Lt Col, The Morale Chairman) have no idea who Prob-eee is. So, Prob-eee’s is a mystery. Prob-eee is a radical, Prob-eee is an unknown, Prob-eee is Prob-eee.
There are a few things you should know about Prob-eee. Many wouldn’t think twice about these Prob-eee-istics (Prob-eee’s Characteristics). But the B.P.R. Founding Members are concerned and convene on a weekly basis to discuss Prob-eee and assign damage control duties.
- Prob-eee likes to sleep during races. Bad idea
- Prob-eee likes soccer and likes to talk about soccer. Bad idea
- Prob-eee like wine, buys wine, drinks wine and usually wants people to drink wine with him. Bad idea. (Chardonnay and White Zinfandel are Prob-eee favorites. Gross!)
- Prob-eee likes to share food.”Hey Philosofizer, you getting a donut? Want to share?” “Hey Hustorian, you getting desert? Can I have a bite?” Bad idea. NO ONE touches The Judd’s food.
- Prob-eee has a problem with public admission of wussiness. “Man, I’m a wuss, I won’t get in the pool unless the water temperature is at least 90 deg.” Bad idea.