08: BPR IA

BACK OF THE PACK RACING: Iowa Chapter

Chapter Operating Instructions

By the Authority granted to the Chapter Leader by the Founding Fathers, the Iowa Chapter hereby adopts the following charter for Operation.

1.0 Iowa Chapter Mission, Vision and Intent

1.1 Mission
The mission of the Iowa Chapter of BPR is to promote year round single speed riding and racing, do so  wherever, with an emphasis on peace, love, and ludacracy and exploring new routes to ride.

1.2 Vision
BPR Iowa believes in doing endurance events in the mid-west and northern plains, because KS, NE, SD, ND, MN and WI are beautiful places, on single speeds. It’s about completing the event and emptying the tank to do so if needed. We try to join other chapters at events, and making the pilgrimage to NM is an eternal goal.

1.3  Intent Ride single speed bicycles and bringing others into the alternate reality.

1.3.1 Sure, we enjoy spanking too serious of racers in spandex, but riding hard with single speeders is the passion that grounds us.

1.3.2 We respect how harebrained ideas can produce magnificence, so getting from point a to point b produces lots of stories.

2.0 Iowa Chapter bicycles (single speed bikes)

2.1 Requirements
All members of BPR IA have a single speed bike and ride it, regularly.  VFS.

2.2  Since gears are the path of the devil, Iowa BPR does not use them, anytime time, anywhere.

3.0 Iowa Chapter Apparel AKA Clothing

3.1 The “Look”. Street clothes are riding clothes:  Button down shirts, t-shirts, shorts with pockets etc.  Button-down shirts, plaid & patches. No matter how cold the event is, the patch is visible (sometimes to the to the horror of the Founding Fathers), at least when we take off our coat or pants.    If you want to choose an expensive, fancy winter jacket for an event, you’re stuck – be prepared for ridicule. Or, get a wool coat and sew reflective strips next to the patch.

3.1.1 If you prefer to wear the kit of another racer team, you won’t be choosing to join Iowa BPR, so you won’t have wear the patches.

3.1.2 Silk underwear is not a performance enhancing drug, even though it’s acknowledged that grinding the saddle while wearing silk increases output. For further scientific clarification consult the Founding Fathers.

4.0 Membership of the Iowa Chapter

4.1 Membership of the BPR IA Chapter will be determined on a case-by-case basis, but a demonstrated love of riding 100 miles of gravel or more, positive engagement with other riders and are okay with any of the following:

Eating three-day old chicken burritos; backing a truck down the entrance ramp of a five story carport; laughing at yourself and others in the crew when you should be very worried about whether you will survive the night; having a special pair of gloves for winter wiping; you marvel at how the symmetry of the cuts on your shins match the spikes on your platform pedals; you get lost repeatedly; when you do use bicycle shorts you put them on backward, and you’re ok with the fit; you go to a pizza palace and request being able to place your feet in the kitchen sink; you drink 3 liters of ground water running through a cow pasture knowing that you won’t be sick until the race is over; you get run over by a bedazzled, spandex wearing CAT 2 racer and you apologize. Being ok with others in the crew doing these things is basic.

4.1.1 We like nice people. We got over being cool last week, because we are the coolest. Right?

4.1.2 Riders who frequently suffer from complaint syndrome will be told to knock it off as we get you to the next bar/checkpoint.

4.2 Member Requirements of the BPR IA Chapter will include but not be limited to the following:

 4.2.1 A self supported 100 mile ride with at least one    member of the crew, any chapter. Or the expressed desire to complete a 100 mile ride with the crew.

5.0 Nutrition Requirements of the BPR IA Chapter

5.1 As the BPR IA Chapter is based on the principles of going from point a to be with a smile, there are specific Nutrition Requirements that will be strictly enforced while doing events.

5.1.1 Pickels

5.1.2 If it taste good it will probably do the trick. Real food. Real Food items include pizza, candy bars, potato chips, hamburgers and the Bomb Burrito.

5.1.3 Pickles are for sharing.

5.2 Adult Beverages of any nature are highly encouraged for socializing before, during and after Events.  (But don’t expect the Ti Machine to drink anything but water or pickle juice.)

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6.0 The Catch-All

If it is not addressed in this Charter, then the Global BPR Rules will apply.

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Profiles of The Crew

JB  aka The FrontMan

When a dude or dudette shows up with a single speed race that dude or dudette has (should have) one goal… to keep up with The Front Man. You see, JB, aka The Front Man, rolls at the Front of the Front of the Back of the Pack. And this means that the freak is usually at the front of the front of the pack. Thus… The Front Man.

Yep, the dude from the Midwest, The Leader of BPR Iowa, redefines the term Super Freak.  And this Super Freak roles out in Patches and BLACK no matter the weather, no matter the race, no matter the HEAT.  You’ll see this freak at all Midwest ultra endurance events and he’ll be rolling out on his fat Black Sheep. If you’re lucky, jump on that big a$$ fat wheel and draft as long as you can. It’s all cool. And it should be legal. Just buy the dude a beer at the finish line.

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Steve aka The Ti-Machine

Webster Dictionary… Machinea )  a living organism or one of its functional systems b)  one that resembles a machine (as in being methodical, tireless, or consistently productive) <a gifted publicist and quote machine — John Lancaster>

Urban Dictionary… Machine: 1) A man made gadget that preforms a task to the benefit of it’s creator. 2) A soulless human being that’s only as alive as much as a running clock or car.

BPR Dictionary… Machine: 1) The Ti-Machine. 2) The Dude rolls a titanium single speed and hammers out the miles with no regard to time or fatigue. 3) The Dude that that crafts titanium single speeds with total regard for style and grace

Yep. The Ti-Machine is The Dude that does it all. Does it all like:  5 time finisher of the Dirty Kanza 200, Finisher of the 1995 Iditasport on SKINNY TIRES. multi-time finisher of the Tuscobia 150, Finisher of the Arrowhead 135, Finisher of the Trans South Dakota 500… I could keep going. But I need a beer. So… you get ‘IT’. Right? The dude is a machine. The dude is The Ti-Machine. And once you meet the Ti-Machine, you’ll understand. Over and out.

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 The Crew in Waiting…. in deliberations with Chapter Leadership?
Scott. Brian. Andrew… and … GET The F*^K’n Paperwork IN!