BPR Ohio Operating Instructions:
Stay ridged as fuck, I donʼt care if youʼre riding your daughters My Little Pony whip.. youʼre gonna ride it like Evil fucking Knievel
If you absolutely need gears or , suspension( I think I just barfed , lil in my mouth saying that word) Fucking A, go ahead we donʼt leave mofos behind… we get it… not everyone rides at cert,in levels yet. Always embrace the Captain as Dude, Duder, or your Dudeness
Attire: If ya look like a professional in all that spandex shit.. yer out! This ainʼt no fashion show… but thems da rules!
Membership: Look, itʼs fucking easy… if you can be cool, youʼre in. Once you start acting like an ass… youʼre out. Embracing the Alternate Reality: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck mainstream garbage. We are not impressed by your expensive bike, however we are impressed on youʼre ability to GET RAD
Bikepacking, Klunking, Single Track, Downhill, shit even the casual evening stroll on the trails, we do it ,ll. If youʼre willing to get dirty ,nd dusty ,nd get down with this lifestyle… youʼre at home with us. Fucking free your mind, ride your bike, be cool.. and Embrace the Alternate Reality.
The Dude, Duder, El Duderino
Letter of Intent: Founding Fathers,
In 1985 at the ripe age of 6 I received my very first “Real” Bicycle. A 1985 Schwinn Predator Free Form BG(Which I still have). My father had no idea that this decision would cause him substantial grief through decades of Tomfoolery, Hooliganism I bestowed upon him. You name it, Iʼve probably done it.
Countless discussions on responsibilities on becoming a man are probably still echoing somewhere within our atmosphere. I had one thing on my mind: Turning those cranks as fast as I could, chasing that
Zen(Euphoric high) Now, fast forward to the ripe age of 38 Iʼm still chasing the dragon. Only to have nearly a decade of Military time under my belt, Iʼve grown up… well, basically Iʼm a responsible man-child. Thatʼs where Embracing the Alternate Reality comes into play… Iʼm a bikepacking, Klunking, dirty and dusty sonfabitch who has no time for mainstream bullshit. I ride.. thatʼs it. As a father and a husband Iʼm the most laid back hombre youʼll ever roll with.
And if given the chance to be “El Capitan” of the Ohio Chapter, I shall follow the rules and guild lines set forth by the governing body.
Sincerely, The Dude, Duder,
El Duderino -Michael