I was planning to construct a large scale review of the 2013 events. Because:
If you don’t understand The History… you can’t MANIPULATE The Future.
But then I realized that The Crew, the BPR Fan Club, the general public has a finite attention span and thus the large scale effort would be a waste of ONE valuable resource… a limited natural resource… my time.
So I decided to construct a list of 2014 events that we plan to attend.
(We = me + The Morale Chairman + any and all freak jobs that want to hang)
And let it be known that ‘plan’ is defined in OUR Alternate Reality. And this reality changes at random and unpredictable intervals. Just say’n.
And before we get to the agenda – remember…
Ja Love You More and that’s fore-sure.
date: January 27 – 28+
the history: Arrowhead 135 v2013
comments: the weather is the unknown. disaster could strike in the form of: tropical heat, sleet, snow, ice storm, crippling cold, etc. But let it be known that we are fully loaded with what you’d call… Life Insurance. So if we meet our MAKER(s), someone(s) will get filthy rich. I think.
date: February 1st
the history: SSAZ v2013
comments: if you have a liver at the start…. check for your liver if / when you get home. just say’n.
24 Hours in the Old Pueblo:
date: February 14 – 16
the history: 24HITOP v2013
comments: bring your spike studded elbow pads. because the ROADIES that overtake Old Pueblo and… dress like Mtn Bikers.. don’t understand the term ‘passing etiquette’. So either we pucker up and pull over or we f*^k’n defend our line. Yep. Own it.
Arizona Trail 300:
date: April 11 – 13
the history: AZT300 v2013
comments: when you run out of water, don’t worry, you can refill your bottles at the next cow pond. It’s only 5 hours away.
Whiskey Off Road, The 50:
date: April 25 – 27
the history: ?
comments: Uh. So… Hell. I don’t know. Well, I do know. Don’t let the DC Gorilla scare the shit out of you. Cuz that f*^k’r just wants you to drink his WHISKEY. I think.
24 Hours in the Canyon:
date: May 31 – June 1
the history: 24 Hours in the Canyon v2011
comments: it’s hotter then the BOILER that HEATs the lower rings of HELL. In 2010 it hit 120F… in the shade. So, it’s a perfect race for BPR AZ. Maybe.
24 Hours in the Enchanted Forest:
date: June 14 – 15
the history: go find the info yourself… there is a s*^t ton of it.
comments: Just an Option. The course is not what it once was. 20 mile laps? Not into it. So we may just booze it up and watch the shenanigans of all those ‘trying’ to be famous.
more comments: solo… it doesn’t mean solo unsupported WHEN the USAC offers up a championship jersey. (USAC: USA Cycling. for those that don’t know.) So, do you… that’s YOU… want to rollout with us in the ‘solo single speed’ category? You can carry our water, our spare tubes, stash some spare wheel sets, maybe stash a bike. You can even grab our A$$E$, if you wish. And do anything else. Like pace us or even throw us a rope and tow us. Maybe we’ll throw a ki$$ or two towards your pacer… because your pacer needs some love’n too.
Single Speed World Championships 2014. Alaska:
date: July 18 – 20
the history: SSWC10… that v2010
comments: if you survived SSAZ and returned home with your LIVER, you’ll definitely WON’T leave Alaska with a functional LIVER. So I think.
Maah Daah Hey 100:
date: August 2nd
the history: ?
comments: If we survive SSWC14, we’ll be there. I think. Finance$ are the i$$ue.
24 Hours in the Sage:
date: August 23 – 24
the history: Townie World Championships v2012
comments: Townie World Championships. 2014 is the year that someone at the back of the pack EARNS a ‘recogninzed’ World Championship. (Yep. Yours truly earned many ‘unrecognized’ World Championships over the years. Just reporting the facts.)
link: TAZ. Help us our here
the history: TAZ. Prove to us that SSUK is a real f*^k’n race.
comments: I’m headed east to hang with Roy / Judy / Taz. And I expect to drink my LIVER away, because I’m a professional and The LIVER won’t be left in ALASKA. (Just joking MOTHER. I’m gonna keep my LIVER. I’ll need it over the next 40 years. I think.)
date: October 14
the history: Zuni 100 v2012
comments: you can sign up for the 100. But, f*^k, you’ll all stop early to drink beer and partake in the HOMEBREW drink off. Just Say’n. We (I) never do that. But you will.
25 Hours in Frog Hollow:
date: Nov 1 – 2
the history: Frog Hollow v2012
comments: because 24 hours just ain’t enough… when you’re cruise’n at the back of the pack. if you can’t break 200 miles at this race you… a) have a drinking problem, b) belong at the Back of the Pack. c) refer to ‘a’ or ‘b’.
SandBox Showdown… in AZ:
date: Nov ?
the history: v2013
comments: f*^k. bring our own syringe, watch where you step, and CHILL when held captive by The BRIDGE MONsTERs.
so… if you want The Crew at the Back of the Pack to show… and promote Ludacracy… f’n send the invite. Dude. Dudette.
and just because:
And if you ain’t a Joe Strummer Fan then… F*^k YOU!