This isn’t the standard humor infused race report based in The Alternate Reality. Why? Cuz I really don’t have that humor right now. Just say’n. But I’m dig’n deep to find the humor in my funny bone(s) just gotta take a few months to figure all this out again. Just because. I started this race report right after… the race. And 5 months later, I think It’s time to hit PUBLISH. (5 months! What the hell have I been doing?)
So. After 5 months my race notes don’t make sense. My cryptic humor doesn’t make sense. This Race Report may not make sense. But I do remember Marji Pain, a beautiful single speed induced pain. And maybe that’s all that matters. Maybe.
Anyway. Here we go. Let’s start off with some Ludacracy…. At the Back of the Pack.
Alternate Race Report Titles
Marji Gesick. Rock & Roll’n across the Upper UP. (Yes. Upper UP. Not Lower UP. That’s my Lingo. Dude.)
Marji Gesick. If you THINK you’re NOT LOST… well, you’re still probably LOST.
Marji Gesick. Single and Rigid, Because we are Athletes in The Alternate Reality
Marji Gesick. Is that The Trail? Huh? That’s the Trail?
Marji Gesick. Dead Last doesn’t mean LOSER, Gesick Style
The Upper Peninsula aka The Upper UP.
What can i say? I’ve been all over the world, walked through all Lines of Longitude in < 30 min (at the South Pole, of course) BUT this was my 1st trip to The UP. I love it! the people are amazing. The vibe is amazing. The UP supports everything I like to do and want do. Yep. I’m moving to the UP when I retire on May 01 2023. No Joke. I just hope I can transfer from BPR New Mexico to BPR Michigan. I wonder who I must payoff, bribe, manipulate. Any ideas?
And. The UP has the coolest races and the coolest racers in the world. Not one negative comment. I love the UP racers. Such a different & unique environment!
The Race Strategy… at the back of the pack
Usually the BPR race strategy is simple… Show up Til you Blow Up. But with Marji Gesick v2021 we modified our strategy… blow up and then keep going.
That’s right MoFo. With the Marji, The Hardest One Day ‘DIRT’ Race in the World, you need a new strategy. Just say’n.
The Titanium Machine of Choice for Marji
29er. Single and Rigid. Yep. People that know how we roll, may ask “Why the 29er? Why Not Fat & Phat & Single” Well. Let’s just say. Marji may not be the best adventure to tackle Fat & Single. I saw some dudes tackling the Marji Fat and ‘Functional’, with those fancy body hug’n clothes. I didn’t see Fat & Single. It Could’ve happened. Who knows. But Maybe 3″ pseudo fat and single? Like 29+. That would be an option. I’ll keep playing the Lottery, if I win, I’ll roll pseudo fat in 2022. (Yep, gotta save my pennies for retirement. I think.)
Quote of The Race
“That’s even debatable if that’s a trail”.
… not the best grammar, but grammar doesn’t count out on the Marji.
and that quote is relevant to about 40 miles of the Marji 50 (or Marji 63.2). Think about that. Dude.
Sidetrack: How About some Tunes… Just so you can get Your Groove On, In Your Living Room.
And How We Roll
I talk a lot about myself
to interviews on Mental Health
how I’m live’n the Dream
And if you didn’t know…. I’m that type of guy.
And… we go all the way
Ok. Back to the Race Review… a Review of The Race.
The BlowOut(s)… Back of the Pack Style
Before we get started on Marji specifics…. let’s talk about rolling at the Back of the Pack in Michigan. Michigan provides a unique set of environmental conditions, conditions that create issues for US FREAKS that don’t wear / employ / promote the ass padding or adult diaper or the standard ‘crutch’ to avoid The Taint Damage
Three races in Michigan… Two blowouts. Blowout in 2019 at the Sancho 200. Bad news. Blowout in 2021, at the Sancho 200 again, No issues. Cuz us athletes learn and adapt and train. Taint damage in this 3rd decade of the 20th century. Not gonna happen. Bulletproof Taint from Training, training commando style in baggy cargo shorts. No Joke. Just say’n. That’s how I roll.
Marji 100 or Marji 50 or Marji 62.5? What’s the Deal with the BPR Dudes?
I only did the Marji 50. I mean 60.5. I mean 62.5. Ok. Maybe 63.2. Yep. I decided to down scale after a) my great southwest crew of hooligans backed out. Not naming names Rhino or Paul. And my Midwest brother from another mother… Ti-Machine aka Wrecking Ball also ditched Marji.
So. I reduced the pain meter and went into touring mode with The Preacher.
You see… you understand… The Preacher was almost killed in July by a meth head. So it was a miracle that The Preacher walked away from The Wreck. And a miracle The Preacher was ‘race ready’ after a Big Bicep Surgery in Aug.
Public service announcement. Don’t support your local methhead. These assholes kill people… before they kill him / her / they / self.
So the preacher and I toured the 50 and rage’d against the machine. Or something like that.
But we (Or should I say “I”) suffered through some issues relating to Bad Intel. That’s Right. Bad Intel and No Race Recon. So it was Total Mental Chaos for Judd aka The Philosofizer. Because I’m a data guy. And rolling with no data = roll’n in darkness, mental darkness.
And you may ask “Why no Race Intel?” Well, because The Preacher said. “It’s just 15 hrs of pain. It’s just a long day.” Ok. So I thought ‘I can roll with that’. So I roll’d with that.
But that’s the last time I’m roll’n with Bad Intel. Bad Intel = Fuel for The Inner Demons aka Demonology Single Speed Style.
The Reality of The Marji, A Simple Summary: Inferno Style, like Dante’s Inferno, like Inferno
Lap 1: Paradise aka Paradiso, Dante Style
Lap 2: Upper Rings of Hell (rings? circles? whatever, license to interpret)
Lap 3: Lower Rings of Hell
and be prepared … The Demons Lurk in The Shadows. I don’t know what that means. But it does mean something. To Me. I’ll get back to you on that thought, after v2022
And Yes: Marji Gesick v2022? Definitely. And I’m all In.
Yep. Signed up For the 100 Marji v2022. But gotta be in the best shape of my life to roll in before the 8:30 AM (25 hr) cutoff. So I just started my training program… today. And I just started my Racer Nutrition Program… today.
Just a Random FYI about Nutrition. Clydes ->The worlds best burger.
But not on Thursday’s. Or in the winter. Ha ha. And Just ‘man up’ and go for the Triple. No Joke.
So what about the data…. Uh. Gotta Keep Reading. Gotta Keep Scrolling. Dude. Dudette
The Race Pics. Just Because
The Route, The Data, The Reality of it ALL
The Pics of the Art-Work…. LakenenLand. You gotta see it.
And Standard Pics of Michigan… it’s like making history… at the back of the pack
The Before Race Stuff
The After Race Stuff