The Back of the Pack Racing Founding Fathers are a) whacked out, b) idealistic, c) altruistic and d) partially psychotic – in a good way.
There are many, many subtle characteristics that separate a Back of the Pack Founding Father from the common recruit – such as Prob-eee. But we, the Founding Fathers, are driven (most of the time) to educate the recruits and the general masses.
One MAJOR, and I mean MAJOR, issue is Urinal Etiquette. So many times we, common men, are ‘violated’ at the urinal. These violations are unnecessary. AND we should not accept these ‘innocent’ violations. (Actually, there are no innocent violations!)
Below is a test. Take the test and prove to yourself that you are properly educated. All men on this planet we call EARTH should be, must be, skilled at Urinal Etiquette.
BTW. This summary of Urinal Etiquette was generated years ago, sometime in the 90’s. I’m reproducing it WITHOUT permission from the author(s). We have no idea who the original authors are / were. We have no idea who defined Urinal Etiquette, but we all agree with Urinal Etiquette!
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (urinals 2 and 4 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (urinal 1 is occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (all urinals are empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied)
- NO Talking, unless it’s a good friend… but even then, keep it terse and UNEMOTIONAL. This ain’t no clubhouse, dude!
- YOU don’t need to be told, but… ABSOLUTELY NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another’s elbow is of the HIGHEST OFFENSE!
- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgement only… “Yeah, I see you there, I will not look again.”
This is not a joke. This is serious. Unnecessary violations occur daily, for example:
Just today I was minding my ‘own business’ at the far urinal, the urinal farthest from the door. ONE JACKASS walked right up to the center urinal and started to purge. (This is a 3 holer situation.) Yes, the JACKASS walked extra steps to occupy the urinal right next to me. The JACKASS could have walked fewer steps and occupied the urinal farthest away from me. Troubling! THEN I proceeded to wash my hands in the sink closest to the door – quick exit. The JACKASS walked all the way across the room to the sink farthest away from ‘my sink’. WHAT! The dude purges right next to me, but washes his hands 10 feet away. This is a violation. This is unacceptable!