The Freak Show | The Dirtbag – BACK OF THE PACK RACING

My appearance is changing. My life is changing. That’s the way it is. But I’m proud of it all. So you, the Back of the Pack Fan, must hear it all.

I’m sorry that Nov 8 – Feb 18 is the down time. I’m sorry that there are no crazy race reviews and no crazy stories. I’m sorry that this blog has drifted towards chaos and insanity.

You know what. I’m not sorry. This is life. And every day that we inhabit this planet called Earth – something cool happens. I think.

Anyway.

I’ve let many people down during the first 37 years of my life. I’ve made many people cry. (Specifically many foxy mamas. Many.) That all goes with the territory, chaos and insanity – as described above.

But out of all the hearts I’ve broken and all the people i’ve pissed off there is one dude that I care about, one dude that gets all my respect, one dude who I don’t ever want to let down again. That dude…The Lt Col.

Why do I respect The Lt Col so much? Easy.

He works less than 8 hours a week but gets paid for a full time job.
He rides the SS on company time.
He never gives up – even when victory over The Judd is nearly impossible.

So, in 2010 I let The Lt Col down. I promised to go for The Johnny. I committed to The Johnny. But I quit on The Johnny. Therefore I quit on The Lt Col.

The Johhny, by Johnny

You see, The Lt Col is a Lt Col. Therefore The Lt Col cannot participate in The Freak Show, The Lt Col cannot be a dirtbag. That’s where I come in. It’s my responsibility as The Leader & The Founder of Back of the Pack Racing to represent at The Freak Show. To be accepted at The Freak Show I must commit to the Dirtbag lifestyle. Oh man, that’s hard for a clean cut, hardworking, honest momma’s boy like me.

The personal conflict, the personal pain is almost unbearable. Why? Because.

1) The Judd lives within strict bounds of Law & Order.

2) Law & Order in Judd’s world requires discipline.

3) A clean cut image is a product of discipline. Shaving 7 days a week is a product of discipline.

4) Shaving 7 days a week is good luck. (You think I made it through 12 years of college because I’m smart? Nope, I was lucky.)

4) Beards are a product of laziness.

5) Beards may provide the missing link between apes and humans. Civilized humans don’t look like apes. Hairy, lazy humans look like apes. I don’t want to look like an ape. I don’t want to have apes in my family tree. Apes scare me. I DID NOT evolve from an ape. I would know. You would not!

But I’m committed to The Johnny. I’m committed to Back of the Pack Racing. I want to lead. As The Leader of B.P.R. I need to make the followers follow. I need to make the followers proud. The Lt Col is a follower. (Prob-eee, don’t forget. The Lt Col is a Founding Father. So show some respect.) I need the Lt Col to be proud of me, The Leader. Therefore, the S*^T on may face stays, even though it’ll ruin all the family Christmas pictures.

But you know what… in the past few weeks i’ve learned that it takes extreme discipline to be undisciplined, to be unkempt, to be dirty, to live a life fueled by chaos. Therefore this experience is helping me grow as an individual. And that’s good because Back of the Pack Racing is a team of individuals.

The S*^T on The Judd’s Face