The New Zealand Wrap Up – That’s Right.
This blog posting is not for you, the Back of the Pack fan that can only pay attention to the first 5 paragraphs or the first 5 minutes of info or whichever 5 minutes comes first. (Confused by that comment – I bet you are.)
Anyway, this Wrap Up is for The Madre and my nieces. It’s a short geography lesson with a few tips for yankee travelers that find themselves in New Zealand. So, I’ll keep the dialog short.
AND if I was you – just turn off the computer and go to bed. I’ll get some good stuff up on this blog in about two weeks. I promise.
Yes, The Wrap Up:
Term of the trip – Luddite:
Just because…. because the Lt Col is a practicing Luddite (in public) and The Judd wants to be a Luddite. We should all be Luddite’s. Because, it’d be cool.
- The question is not ‘Are you gonna bungy jump’ the question is ‘big or small? Nevis or Kawarua?’
- Jet boating to lunch – it’s really the only way to get to lunch.
- Rally car driving at night – what else would you do? Watch CSI New Zealand? Doubt it.
- Target practice before dinner – because there is always an ‘after dinner’…
- Rabbit hunting after dinner – because you had target practice before dinner…
- Are the majority of Kiwis born and raised in NZ?
- Do the majority of Kiwis have jobs or do the just ‘play’ all day / everyday?
- Do the majority of Kiwis take jet boats to lunch?
- Do Kiwis eat anything other than Lamb?
- Can you tell the difference between a Kiwi accent & an Aussie accent.
- How to Kiwis describe the American accent? What about The Judd accent.
- If there are many black sheep in NZ how come there are only a few ‘Black Sheep’ in New Zealand.
- Is Vegemite a decent substitute for Green Chile Cheeseburgers?
And to take you back to the days when you were breakdancing and riding unicycles… oh that was me in 1982. (Ok you Men at Work freaks – I know it was 1st recorded in 1981 – so go easy.)
Men at Work – he just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
- JetStar, An Airline that will charge you extra baggage fees, just because. Remove those fees, just because. And recharge those fees, just because. Jerks.
- An Airline that will throw Foxy Mamas off the plane… in a moments notice… just for being a B-I-T-C-H.
don’t fly JetStar if a) you are checking bags, b) if you are a Foxy Mama B-I-T-C-H.
- Non English speaking individuals are not afraid to talk on the cell phone while on the Thomas P. Crapper. (Note1: Thomas P didn’t invent the crapper – but worked to make it popular. Note2: Americans don’t answer the phone – ever, just because.)
- Old habits are hard to break. I kept looking for a NZ beer bottle opener – just to remember that Dan, The BPR Crew Chief, taught me the secret to removing a beer cap without a Yankee tool.
- I’ll never figure out if I should tip 20% on service, food, booze. Seems like ‘local’ establishments don’t expect a tip but ‘tourist’ establishments do. Makes sense though – scam the Damn Yankee.
- If Henry asks ‘The big jump or the small jump’, the answer will be ‘big jump, obviously’.
The HACS and the FastBack make for an easy packing job.
The Adventures – A Visualization:
I’m not a redundant dude – so I won’t be redundant.
Check out this link for a review of the Le Petite Brevet.
Below is the route. Just because it’s cool.