Ludacracy. A term used at the back of the pack… in The Alternate Reality. And the Sancho 200 on the BPR Tandem was full on ludacracy. It’s safe to say, tackling the Sancho on a tandem is not recommended. And that’s one of the many reasons why we did it and will do it again. And why no one else as attempted such a crazy thing. No Joke.
And the Quote of the Race:
The Preacher, The Captain: “You wearing sunglasses? Have shit in your eyes?”
The Philosofizer, The Stoker: “No. I have a big shit blocker in front of me.“
and the 2nd best quote of the race:
The Preacher: “Why do we do this dumb stuff?”
and the 3rd best quote of the race:
The Preacher: “There is a fine line between pleasure and pain.”
and the 4th best quote of the race:
The Preacher: “There is no room for No”
And before we get into the details. We must acknowledge the totally awesome race director, race volunteers, race organization. And all of that stuff. It was unreal event. An unreal adventure. And let me tell you. We rolled in way way way at the back of the pack. And the party was still going. The race crew was there to cheer our arrival. AT 3AM. That was a totally awesome finish. Thanks Race Crew!
and before we get started…
You haven’t heard anything until you’ve witnessed The Preacher signing How Soon is Now.
The Race. The Details. The Ones and Zeros.
Ok Dudes and Dudettes. We’ll start with the data and work backwards. Because this data is amazing. And I learned some new skills. I think. So check out the animation below. You’ll see the route, the elevation profile and some velocity data. Yeah. I like data. (And. Do me a favorite. Hit the HD button. If I create an animation, and you take the time to watch it, watch in HD. Just Say’n.)
And for those of you that can’t manage a 21 sec animation, check out the map below. A 200 mile loop is a pretty big loop. You should try it next year.
And here is the data. A few hightlights.
- distance and time = 201.83 miles and 21.27 hrs
- max vel = 40.99. Yeah. That’s nuts on a tandem. Nuts with The Preacher in the cockpit.
- miles walking = 7.15. seemed like 20. but the data says ~ 7. And we walked for 4 1/2 hours. 7 miles total, 4 1/2 hours. Yeah. it was slow going. Dragging a tandem through sand was hard, for The Preacher. (Stokers don’t push. Seriously. Too many heel strikes.)
- number of dismounts = 996. Yeah. This number is way off. But. It sure felt like we ate shit 996 times.
This is the proper technique for pushing a super freak tandem machine through the sand
Leading the pack for a few laps… or a few crank revolutions.
Random Race Comments
Pain and Suffering. Tandem Style: So. What is it like for a single speed freak to cruise 200 miles on a tandem, as the Stoker? Well. it was insane, insanely painful. The cadence is consistent. Coasting is coordinated. There are no breaks for the legs. And it’s 100% a$$ time. No option for standing, single speed style. There is no relief. Tandems are fun, as I now know. But 200 miles on a tandem. Truly insane. And we will defend our Tandem Title in 2020. And Stoker? What is the Stoker? Well. The Stoker is a) the 2nd engine, b) the DJ. Two jobs. 1) Pedal 2) control the tunes.
A$$ Spackle: And now a brief comment about BikeMonger’s Happy Bottom Bum Butter. This stuff is primo. Does the job, if you need it. But then again, in Michigan, in the blistering heat of June. Happy Bottom Bum Butter aka Michigan Custard. Thats right. I was carrying a jar of custard like soup. I guess we need a science based approach to a$$ numbing cream aka a$$ sparkle. Then again. Maybe the only solution for the Michigan heat is to simply HTFU. Or something like that.
Cheetos: On the bike
Sand and sand flees: ever see sand flees in the sand. I haven’t. But they are there and they found me.
The button blowout: ever see a dude get launched off a tandem and blow out set of buttons on the plaid? I have. It’s crazy.
Ever see a dude get ejected off of a tandem, and ejected right out of his shoes: … I have
The Sandwiches: Just an FYI. If you roll into the 1/2 point, open sores oozing on the a$$, dreaming of a pickup from Vudex aka F*^k’n Lion, and then you see some sandwiches… eat as many sandwiches as possible. And eat the sandwiches fast. Because as soon as The Preacher ‘smells’ some weakness in the tandem team, a weakness in The Stoker, he will demand a return to action, even if you haven’t had your fill of sandwiches.
Unclothed preacher. At the intersection: ever see a dude is serious abdominal pain, so serious that he must disrobe at an intersection, at 10PM. I have. Ever see a dis-robed dude re-robe, in a modified fashion, due to a random car appearing from nowhere, and this random car interrupting the purge. I have. It was actually funny. And soothing. Cuz my open sores had some time to drain as I stood there, amazed at the corner action.
Riff Raff leaving the dirt race: So if you are cruise’n through the back roads of michigan, on a calm saturday night. Be prepared for a massive wave of hooligans leaving the local dirt track. And don’t attempt to talk to the riff raff, because chances are they won’t be able to talk or mumble. Yeah. Must’ve been a long day at the dirt track. And I’m guessing there was no Bud Light left at the track. And just when we escaped the Riff Raff. I think I heard some banjos. Just say’n.
Charging Dogs: seems like dogs love to chase me. And I learned one important dog control strategy on the Sancho 200. Just stay close to The Preacher. Cuz the charging dogs did an immediate 180 once they saw The Preachers Stainless Steel Grill. No Joke
Mechanicals: do you know what a Stoker does when the BPR Tandem is a mechanical? The stoker does… nothing. Because The Preacher has it all under control. As usual.
Afterburner. Uh. The Super Freak Single Speed Machine finished at the front of the front of the back of the pack. Time? Place? Who knows. Well. Actually. Check the results below.
The Preacher and The Philosofizer. Owning the Back of the Pack
Wrecking Ball. Cranked out an easy 100, after crushing the DK200 the week before.
Peace Train. * 1st 100. And by design. aka Crazy Train
and a few more race day pics
The Adventure before The Adventure
The trip to northern part of the lower peninsula (maybe we’ll call it the NPLP cuz there is the UP and the NUP, just say’n) started with a few crazy days in southern Michigan, near Pinckney and Portage Lake. Fun times. Ludacracy. Just one comment and some pics.
Mac N Cheese Pizza and the Double Dip Phobia: Just a random comment. If you order up a Mac N Cheese Pizza, and there may be an opportunity to share this pizza with Afterburner, just don’t double dip the crust. That’s a deal breaker for AfterBurner. Seriously.
The Day Before Race Day
The Day Before Race Day. Let’s call it the Midwestern Summer BPR Summit. Which means we had a blast dealing with BPR Issues in The Alternate Reality. It was a great gathering of BPR Michigan, BPR Iowa and BPR NM. Next year… it’ll be bigger and badder, just flat out TONAR, of course.
And for the record. we only had two simple strategies for The Day before Race Day:
- When in doubt, do more Yoga
- If we don’t get through all the beer stops… we ain’t make’n it to lunch.
The Adventures after The Adventures
After Race Day we cycled back to tourist mode… Michigan Style. We saw the sites in the Northern Part of the Lower Peninsula (NPLP) and then returned to Pinckney and HELL. Seriously. We chill’d out in HELL. No joke.
And a Quote based on True Love… or something like that
She says. “It’s so beautiful” (a basic remark about some ice cream)
He says “that’s not the only the thing that’s beautiful.”
Vudew “Thats so sweet… someone is getn lucky tonight” aka F*^k’n Lion.
One more little hill… and then it’s all downhill to HELL
And then there is the Creepy Clown Forest near HELL.
And then there is just flat out Ludacracy
And then there is Hi-Wheel Ludacracy
And remember… Summertime in Northern Michigan… Kid Rock style
And one final jam… STRAIGHT TO HELL
The Preacher and I were grinding out the Sancho 200. I was the stoker, as you may know now, which means I was the auxiliary engine and the dude with the tunes. And as the dude with the tunes I cranked up some Clash. Turns out The Preacher rocked out to the Clash back in the day. So we briefly discussed Clash songs. And STRAIGHT TO HELL is my favorite CLASH song. And Ghetto Defendant. And Should I Stay or Should I Go. Blah Blah Blah.
Listen and Reflect. Joe Strummer is long gone. But we grew up with Joe Strummer and the Clash. There ain’t no videos of The Clash executing my favorite song. But Joe Strummer and The Mescaleros recorded it so…. relax and think and enjoy and be cool….
“this is how it goes
this is how it is
this is how it’s gonna be, I’ll show ya
this is how it should be”
And, as we close out this race report. Remember:
If you don’t know the People Collector… then you haven’t been scared yet. Kinda like The Bone Collector
*** Yeah. I have no memory of the people collector. But I’m sure it freaked me the f*^k out.