It’s almost been 1 months since the Sancho 200 chaos. And almost 2 years since I fired up the History Generator… at the back of the pack. Yeah. Crazy how a world wide pandemic shuts down all races and therefore all Ludacracy. But hey. We are back in Action. But go easy on the criticism. It’s gonna take a few ‘cycles’ to re-find the skills of documenting The History. Yep. This race reporting is not exactly easy.
And because Race Reporting is not easy, especially when you The Reader expects a balanced level of humor and data, I’ll probably just focus on data this time. Humor is hard to come by these days. Sorta.
It’s going to be hard to correctly document the Sancho 200. Let’s just say it was NUTS… Ludacracy based in wicked heat, insane humidity and a challenge unlike any other 200 mile challenge.
** And to encourage interaction. To motivate you MoFos to read on… read on. There will be a challenge and with a surprise ending. For someone.
Background. 200 mile races are standard daily efforts… at the back of the pack. Not a big deal. Usually just some suffering with lots of laughs. But Sancho 200 v2021. This was the real deal due to the crazy a$$ weather.
So let’s just get to the details. 5 dudes started at the Back of the Pack. 2 dudes finished.
One Super Freak aka The Preacher cranked the final 70 miles on a Tandem. SOLO. Yes you read that right. The MoFo cranked out Mile 130 to 200 on a Tandem. SOLO. More on that later (F*^k’n Stokers that doesn’t understand the word ‘commitment’.)
A second Super Freak aka The Wrecking Ball aka BayWatch aka Ti-Machine. Crushed the 200 miles on his custom & Super Phat Fat Bike… single speed. Style. Yeah. 200 miles on a single speed fat ti-machine. Gravel Bike? Never heard of such a thing.
When I think back on the Sancho 200. And re-live all the events. I realize that the Sancho 200 provided an opportunity to Cry Alone. As do many 200s. Yet. Us freaks at the back of the back of the pack… don’t cry. But I’m guessing this time, there could’ve been a few tears due to exhaustion, dehydration, 4AM demons… and the victory of finishing one hard Mutha F*^k’n day on the bike.
The Super Freaks… … The MoFos that Finished… After the Finish
*** … Ok. If you’ve made it this far. Here is the challenge. A challenge that could end with Free Stuff in your mailbox. Send me, via comments or via email@example.com, your best caption for any picture in this race report. It’ll be a competition. And the winner will be picked, somehow. And the winner will get Free Stuff. Yeah. This is called a Social Experiment… at the back of the pack. (And I already know how it will turn out.)
The Reality of The Race… Back of the Pack Style
The Simple Race Strategy: 50 yrs old, and older, you MUST Finish.
The average age of BPR Sancho Finishers. (63+56)/2 = 59.5
The Ride… the Data
Time Stopped at CkPnt 1: 8 min 30 sec
Time Stopped at Gas Station 1: 19 min 3 sec
Time Stopped at Gas Station 2: 11 min 49 sec
Time Stopped at CkPnt 2: 15 min 56 sec
Time Stopped at Gas Station 3: 39 min
** 26 minutes to change the flat
The Memories of The Ride
THE Post Race Decompression
Quotes of the Race… you wouldn’t understand
The Preacher: “Stoker! You out?. Grab all your f*^k’n gear. I gotta get roll’n.”
Wrecking Ball: Mile 187. It all came together.. A Dual Synchronized Purge.
Quotes of the Race Weekend… and No you won’t understand. But it’s History. For Us
The Preacher as he cracks a beer at 9AM: I’ve been up 36 hrs .. (and just finished a 200 mile race on a tandem, solo.)
The Preacher: Dude. It’s breakfast. Grab a big one (PBR)
Wrecking Ball: The Cheetos bag from the Dollar General Store. I just kept reaching in. Thought I was gonna crash… The Philosofizer: But You’re The Wrecking Ball… and You Didn’t.
Wrecking Ball: The Cheetos got me to 4 in the morning. Then I had it.
Wrecking Ball: You showering or sun bathing. The Preacher: Well. We sunbath Nude up here. Take your clothes off.
The Preacher: Karaoke? You do it? The Philosofizer: F*^k’n A yeah. Signing in my head right now. I’m awesome.
Doc Holiday: My Hypocrisy only goes so far… … The Philosofizer: My hypocrisy knows no bounds.
And If You Ever Have a Chance…
Ask the Wrecking Ball about the time he won a wet t-shirt contest in a country bar.
Ask Peace Train what he was wearing when he toured Colorado with 3 Foxy Mamas.
No Final Thoughts. We’re just getting started… at the back of the pack. More adventures planned in 2021 and beyond. So there is no final anything. I think
3 thoughts on “Sancho 200 v2021… Cry Alone”
Are you financing BPR by taking screenshots of Woody’s PornHub subscription, printing them off and selling them at the local Jr. High?
Dang, Why are all the good magazines always wrapped in plastic..
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