Times are a bit slow right now. Well, slow for us dudes that aren’t consumed with the Christmas shopping thing. BUT the hectic life will be back, in a few days. That’s right. The End of the World bikepacking trip is scheduled for sometime this week. Then there is the Gunnison Valley 135, scheduled when… when I want to schedule it. Then there is the ‘drag the Lt Col’s A$$ out into the wilderness’ bikepacking trip scheduled for…. sometime in January. Then there is the big one. The Arrowhead 135 on January 28th.
So, the days of rest and relaxation are over, for some. Time to get busy.
Actually, I’ve been busy. Busy doing fun stuff like riding the fatbike, phatbike, snowbike… on the asphalt… to work. Yeah, there ain’t much exciting stuff about a dude’s fatbike commute to work. But I think it’s fun to shamelessly shame The Lt Col and The Morale Chairman into setting the alarm for 3:45AM, rolling out of bed after one SNOOZE attempt, ki$$ing the wife, putting the a$$ on the bike seat (I mean saddle) and logging some miles, the fat way or the phat way or the hard way.
Ok, my actions to get those dudes motivated to put the miles in is probably a lost cause. Because TRAINING and RACING isn’t really something that we are known for at Back of the Pack Racing. But it’s probably a smart thing to put in a few miles before the Arrowhead. Cuz death due to exhaustion and exposure is a real possibility, for some. And Victory for Judd at the Front of the Back of the Pack is a guarantee.
- I’m confident that The Lt Col will drop out at mile 35. Because he will start with 3L of water, drink all 3L in the 1st 3 hours. Then spend the next 3 hours asking every tourist he can find if they have water to spare. (Will there be tourists on the Arrowhead route? Yeah, definitely. I hope so, for The Lt Col’s sake.)
- I’m confident that The Morale Chairman will miss the 2nd cutoff at the 70 mile mark. Not because he can’t take the pain or he ran out of water like The Lt Col. But because he’ll waste 5+ hours adjusting and readjusting his backpack, because The Morale Chairman HATES backpacks. (I wonder if The Morale Chairman is so uncomfortable with backpacks because he has ‘helpers’ that carry all his ‘gear’ at work.)
- The Judd will motor in for victory at the Front of the Back of the Pack around hour 26 +/- 4 hours. That’s right, prediction for The Judd is a finish time of 22 to 30 hours. Weather is the variable.
- No matter how BAD (as in BAD) your fatbike is (Black Sheep SnowRoller in my case) there will always be some little girl riding a My Little Pony dirt bike and yelling out “MY BIKE IS BETTER THAN YOURS. MY BIKE IS BETTER THAN YOURS!” No joke, jokester.
- No matter how warm you think you’ll be, you’ll be cold when you max out at an outrageous phatbike speed of 30mph… at 5AM. Seriously. 30MPH on a phatbike is FAST. And 30MPH on a Phatbike at 5AM is COLD. Sort of. BUT Coldness is a state of mind.
- If you see a fat dude (not phat dude) decked out in spandex and neon colors, it’s a high probability that the dude is riding gears and may even be wearing BPR socks. Just ask Prob-eee.
- If you happen to see Prob-eee out and about on his gears…. demand a SOCK Check! Cuz that dude feels like he’s allowed to bend, I mean break, all The Team rules.
- Once you realize that your commute is resulting in X / O miles per gallon, you may actually want to make a permanent lifestyle change.
- A little math. X / 0 = Infinity. And that’s a pretty good mpg rating.
- Wanna buy my Jeep? $30k
- If you show up at work early, you can leave early. But you still get pegged as the dude that doesn’t work. Figure that one out.
and if you actually watch this video – then you have WAY too much time on your hands! JUST LIKE ME!
because this is a cool song and a cool cover
and for your entertainment