24 Hours in the Enchanted Forest, v2013: CHAOS Everywhere AND I didn’t do it… I think

I modified this post, for the 3rd time, because I can. I don’t dig this social shit that I got ‘The Crew’ into. We are a bunch of burned out ski racers rugby players, UFO chasers and single speed freaks. Next time we want to make a public statement… we’ll do it in real time. And deal with real time consequences. Which means… we’ll challenge you to a Boat Race and we’ll KICK YOUR A$$, cuz we got The Morale Chairman as the anchor. 

The Overview:
What can I say. We got what we paid for… a vacation in the New Mexico wilderness. That’s about it. I’m sorry to say this, but if you pay ca$h and expect RESULTS or a PODIUM spot or FAME and FORTUNE then you shouldn’t go to a 24 hour race. Because weather and chaos can & will shatter your dreams. AND let me tell you. FAME and FORTUNE is not achieved on the trails. I think.


We don’t have National Champion caliber Athletes at… The Back of the Pack
But one of our Best Friends, Tracy Thelen, earned 2nd Place in Women’s Solo.
Yeah, we keep good company. No matter what YOU think. 
Congratulations Tracy. You and Nick are one INCREDIBLE TEAM!
Can’t wait to Hang with You All at 24 Hours in the Sage.
(Can’t wait to get you dudes and dudettes in Plaid and Baggy Shorts!)

Just some low quality JackA$$ dudes, at the Back of the Pack

The Reality… Not the Alternate Reality:
The Powers that Be eliminated my ability to create The Alternate Reality for 24 Hrs in the Enchanted Forest, v2013. The 10 (that’s TEN) hour shutdown eliminated all goals, at the Back of the Pack, and therefore the need to create distorted ‘truths’ on why the goals weren’t acheived. And THAT SUCKS for you, the BPR fan or the BPR critic or… 

The Back of the Pack Results:

  • The Mad Rhino. “I’m riding a bike… for my sponsors. I ain’t f*^k’n around. I’m an athlete… maybe.. or maybe not“. 8 laps BPR style. 7 laps ‘official’ style. 
    • That’s right. Mad Rhino, the BPR Field Marshal, f*^k’n showed up for this race. 
  • Major John. “I’m riding gears, I’m drinking Rolling Rock, I’m from Kentucky, I’ve got three kids, I’m moving to Florida, AND I love a big blow up… mattress.” PERSONAL Best of 6 laps, BPR style, and 113 miles. 
    • Yep, we’re gonna miss Major John. Just like we miss The Lt Col (ret).
  • “Jeff”. “I’m a Vegan, but I think I’ll go for that Beef Brisket. Day 1 is tomorrow. Bitch. I mean F’n dumbass weather forecaster. Yeah, I’m talking to you Mr Morale Chairman.” 6 laps BPR style. 7 laps ‘official’ style.
    • Nice plaid and cargo shorts “Jeff”. We got a set of patches for you, if you sign on the line and support the BPR O&Is. But we ain’t calling you “Jeff” if you roll with patches.
  • The Judd: “Don’t blame me, they called the race at 10:30pm. Right when I was gonna kick some Mad Rhino A$$.” 5 laps, BPR style.
  • The Morale Chairman, aka, The Mysterious Prob-eee: “I’m smoke your a$$ on my fatbike with road slicks and flip-flops. And if you don’t like it… you know where I live.” 1 lap, BPR style.

Lessons Learned:

  • The NUMBER 1 lesson in life FOR YOU… don’t let Back of the Pack dudes man the keg. It ain’t smart. AND keep your kids away. Because we don’t use words with more than two syllables. Well, to be honest, we focus on the one syllable words. AND we do our best to make everyone feel good… Deuce Bigalow style. 
    • So let’s be clear, just because. At the Back of the Pack, we aren’t paid to be Role Models
  • The Morale Chairman AIN’T a certified Meteorologist. 
  • The Mad Rhino has no idea what he’s saying.
  • “Jeff” starts Day 1 tomorrow, just say’n.

The Quotes of the Race:

  • Mad Rhino: “I know what I have. I don’t know what I don’t have.”
  • Mad Rhino: “I don’t want to burden you. But if you go to town I want Celestial Seasons Sleepy Time ChamomileTea.”
  • “Jeff”: We don’t joke about the Little 500 back in Indiana. 
    • Really, it’s funny, the way you put it, after 15 beers.
  • Mad Rhino: “This shirt fits great! It’s really tight!”
The Conversation of the Race:
  • Tracy: “I’ve got Mate Tea or Black Tea… Vanilla & Almond or Cinnamon & Plum”
  • Mad Rhino: “Yeah, that’s cool!”
2nd Conversation of the Race:
  • Tracy: “I have 10 pairs of gloves” … ‘if you need any’… “All size Womens / Medium”
  • Mad Rhino: “Really! I can wear Womens / Large”

The Term of the Race:

  • Wild Bill of Gallup Fame: ‘Machiavelli
    • Research it. Dude.
    • BUT I think I wrote down the wrong spelling of the wrong word. (Sorry for hosing this up, Bill.)

The Morale Chairman’s Weather Forecast… A Conversation:

  • “Jeff” at 9:00pm: ‘Dude, Morale Chairman, you’re from around here. What’s the weather going to do.’
  • The Morale Chairman: Well, It’s clearing in the SW. I can see the horizon. It’s perfect race weather go get it.
  • “Jeff” at 11:45pm: ‘That Sucked! 
just music, cuz I like music

a few pics? just a few!

 Yeah, No Kidding!

The BPR Pit… In the Day 
The BPR Pit… at Night

Mad Rhino says:
I now have Sleepy Time ChamomileTea

Mad Rhino Man’n The Keg

There is always some dude reliving the Glory Days….
pull’n off The Keg Stand

Just 30lbs of Mud.
 Dirty Nick, Doing the Dirty Deed
Like spending 2.5 hours cleaning Tracy’s Bike
But Hell, Nick wasn’t racing.
Nope, the Storm is gonna Blow Over
Just some Mud!
Yeah, Mad Rhino, Dirty
As if that’s a New Thing!
The Judd
Being Phat. Seriously
“Jeff” get’n radiated by The GLOW of The Judds ‘sheep
Black Sheep Highlight #3, that is.
The Morale Chairman
Major John: Just Hanging when not Flying. 
These military dudes make it all happen…. just say’n
Steve and Family: #1 in Enchanted Land
Talk about a Cool Family… Mad Rhino Connection

Fruit Punch?
Who the HELL drinks that?

Avery Loves… The Uncle Judd
Maybell Loves… The Uncle Judd

Marshal Loves… The Uncle Judd

What the F*^K!
Only The TeddNeck

5 thoughts on “24 Hours in the Enchanted Forest, v2013: CHAOS Everywhere AND I didn’t do it… I think

  1. 24 Hour National Championship Race

    As El Grupo youth who raced in the 24 hour National Championship race, we apologize and take full responsibility for our rude behavior. El Grupo coaches have never condoned nor taught such behavior. We were competing for a podium spot and in the heat of the moment, emotions took control of us. We conducted ourselves negatively, and we do not blame you for the way you reacted. The parent in question who was encouraging the rider was in no way encouraging that specific behavior, he was excited for the team finish and would never support such actions. At the end of the race our coaches were not aware of the situation and therefore could not address this inappropriate behavior. El Grupo is only able to continue as an organization if we have the support of our community, including riders such as yourself. As a team of youth, we are learning. This is an important learning experience for us. Our future actions will be more considerate. It will not happen again.

    -Sincerest apologies, El Grupo Youth Racers


  2. Yo El Grupo. Thanks for the reply. Professional. Yeah Thanks. With respecte to the way I reacted, I'm a red blooded American. If I ain't being paid to think. I ain't thinking. We all blow our stack from time to time, that's the way it is. And because America is the greatest country in the world, we are all forgiven, for the most part. Anyway. Everyone makes mistakes. I make them daily. Some times I pay (like a divorce) other times I get away with it (like multiple bank heists to pay for my titanium addiction. Just Joking, I think.) But, because I am The Philosofizer, I'm qualified to say, it's not the mistakes that make us who we are. It's how we adjust / grow from our mistakes. So all is cool. I hope the young kid learned from his mistake. I hope the parent understands that all adults are accountable, just as I understand. It's all history. It's all cool. Maybe we'll see you all at Old Pueblo (a very tough race in terms of sportsmanship, I'm throwing that out there – the reality – and I'll probably be banned from that race), hopefully we can all set an example of what bike racing in America can be and should be.


  3. Tedd told me those were vegan brisket strips. He also said it wouldn't storm. Fool me once…………………..


  4. Nice to see that further reflection yields rational responses — too bad the angst & negative kharma were created in the first place. Here's to a more civil future!


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