I modified this post, for the 3rd time, because I can. I don’t dig this social shit that I got ‘The Crew’ into. We are a bunch of burned out ski racers rugby players, UFO chasers and single speed freaks. Next time we want to make a public statement… we’ll do it in real time. And deal with real time consequences. Which means… we’ll challenge you to a Boat Race and we’ll KICK YOUR A$$, cuz we got The Morale Chairman as the anchor.
What can I say. We got what we paid for… a vacation in the New Mexico wilderness. That’s about it. I’m sorry to say this, but if you pay ca$h and expect RESULTS or a PODIUM spot or FAME and FORTUNE then you shouldn’t go to a 24 hour race. Because weather and chaos can & will shatter your dreams. AND let me tell you. FAME and FORTUNE is not achieved on the trails. I think.
(Can’t wait to get you dudes and dudettes in Plaid and Baggy Shorts!)
The Reality… Not the Alternate Reality:
The Powers that Be eliminated my ability to create The Alternate Reality for 24 Hrs in the Enchanted Forest, v2013. The 10 (that’s TEN) hour shutdown eliminated all goals, at the Back of the Pack, and therefore the need to create distorted ‘truths’ on why the goals weren’t acheived. And THAT SUCKS for you, the BPR fan or the BPR critic or…
The Back of the Pack Results:
- The Mad Rhino. “I’m riding a bike… for my sponsors. I ain’t f*^k’n around. I’m an athlete… maybe.. or maybe not“. 8 laps BPR style. 7 laps ‘official’ style.
- That’s right. Mad Rhino, the BPR Field Marshal, f*^k’n showed up for this race.
- Major John. “I’m riding gears, I’m drinking Rolling Rock, I’m from Kentucky, I’ve got three kids, I’m moving to Florida, AND I love a big blow up… mattress.” PERSONAL Best of 6 laps, BPR style, and 113 miles.
- Yep, we’re gonna miss Major John. Just like we miss The Lt Col (ret).
- “Jeff”. “I’m a Vegan, but I think I’ll go for that Beef Brisket. Day 1 is tomorrow. Bitch. I mean F’n dumbass weather forecaster. Yeah, I’m talking to you Mr Morale Chairman.” 6 laps BPR style. 7 laps ‘official’ style.
- Nice plaid and cargo shorts “Jeff”. We got a set of patches for you, if you sign on the line and support the BPR O&Is. But we ain’t calling you “Jeff” if you roll with patches.
- The Judd: “Don’t blame me, they called the race at 10:30pm. Right when I was gonna kick some Mad Rhino A$$.” 5 laps, BPR style.
- The Morale Chairman, aka, The Mysterious Prob-eee: “I’m smoke your a$$ on my fatbike with road slicks and flip-flops. And if you don’t like it… you know where I live.” 1 lap, BPR style.
- The NUMBER 1 lesson in life FOR YOU… don’t let Back of the Pack dudes man the keg. It ain’t smart. AND keep your kids away. Because we don’t use words with more than two syllables. Well, to be honest, we focus on the one syllable words. AND we do our best to make everyone feel good… Deuce Bigalow style.
- So let’s be clear, just because. At the Back of the Pack, we aren’t paid to be Role Models.
- The Morale Chairman AIN’T a certified Meteorologist.
- The Mad Rhino has no idea what he’s saying.
- “Jeff” starts Day 1 tomorrow, just say’n.
The Quotes of the Race:
- Mad Rhino: “I know what I have. I don’t know what I don’t have.”
- Mad Rhino: “I don’t want to burden you. But if you go to town I want Celestial Seasons Sleepy Time ChamomileTea.”
- “Jeff”: We don’t joke about the Little 500 back in Indiana.
- Really, it’s funny, the way you put it, after 15 beers.
- Mad Rhino: “This shirt fits great! It’s really tight!”
- Tracy: “I’ve got Mate Tea or Black Tea… Vanilla & Almond or Cinnamon & Plum”
- Mad Rhino: “Yeah, that’s cool!”
- Tracy: “I have 10 pairs of gloves” … ‘if you need any’… “All size Womens / Medium”
- Mad Rhino: “Really! I can wear Womens / Large”
The Term of the Race:
- Wild Bill of Gallup Fame: ‘Machiavelli‘
- Research it. Dude.
- BUT I think I wrote down the wrong spelling of the wrong word. (Sorry for hosing this up, Bill.)
The Morale Chairman’s Weather Forecast… A Conversation:
- “Jeff” at 9:00pm: ‘Dude, Morale Chairman, you’re from around here. What’s the weather going to do.’
- The Morale Chairman: Well, It’s clearing in the SW. I can see the horizon. It’s perfect race weather go get it.
- “Jeff” at 11:45pm: ‘That Sucked!
a few pics? just a few!
The BPR Pit… In the Day
Talk about a Cool Family… Mad Rhino Connection