the door is Cracked Open for YOU to join The Crew… dude, dudette

the time has come… for another BPR gear order. That means patches, plaid, t-shirts, socks, hats, stickers, etc. (And a few adult novelty items, for Mad Rhino, of course.)

And The Decision Makers @ the back of the pack decided it’s time to open up this secret society to a few more ball busting dudes and dudettes. 

and this is no JOKE… JOKESTER

BUT before you can join The Crew you must first qualify to join The Crew.

And if you qualify then you must be approved, at multiple levels: The BPR Supreme Council chaired by The Founder / The Leader / The Philosofizer / The Hustorian (yes, that’s one dude, that’s me), The Morale Chairman and The Lt Col (ret). Then upon Supreme Council approval you must be confirmed by the local BPR chapter roughneck:

BPR NM: The Judd
BPR FL: The Lt Col (ret)
BPR AZ: Mad Rhino
BPR New Zealand: Mad Man Dan
BPR Australia: Blondie
BPR USA… the roaming chapter: Cjell

And if you feel the need to start a BPR chapter, say in… Colorado or Mexico or Canada or Japan. Then you will be confirmed or denied by The Supreme Council and Mad Rhino. 

So that is the process. Now how do you, the BPR prospective freak job, qualify for this not so secret yet secret society?

It’s straight forward:

The Basics, The CliffNotes for you lazy ba$tard$:
  1. Single Speed, Fully Rigid.
    • that means: NO GEARS
    • that means: NO SUSPENSION
  2. Patches, Plaid, Cotton Workshorts, Cargo Shorts… 
    • that means: roll with style
    • that means: NO SPANDEX. we don’t want to see The Junk (or lack there of)
      • we don’t want to be pulled off our game, by your desire to show Your Game.
    • Finer Details:
      • We don’t condone the use of Adult Diapers, i.e., the chamios thing
        • But we won’t do a spot check, if you know what I mean.
      • Functional clothing like ~ 50% cotton blend… is meant for late nights on the trail or authorized, by Mad Rhino, for hot AZ days.
    • We’ll look the other way:
      • if you are 300 pounder, a beast that is on roids, HGH or Cheetos… well, sometimes dudes are dealt a raw deal. And if you’re a 300 pounder then your clothes are gonna be tight no matter what. So, bring some extra beer and will go easy on you… or not.
  3. We ‘race’ SOLO
    • We don’t to the handoff, we don’t do the baton pass, we don’t do group hugs
    • We race ‘SOLO’
    • if you only have 50 miles in you, register as solo and do 3 or 4 laps, you’ll still smoke Prob-eee.
    • We ‘race’ SOLO
      • unless The Founding Fathers decide to roll out with a 4 person FatBike team
    • We ‘race’ SOLO

Speaking of Prob-eee… The Prob-eee Factor:

  • If you think you qualify and are confirmed by The Supreme Council and the local Chapter leader and THEN you
    • Commute to work in neon green and ‘almost’ tight spandex and many gears… all because you are not in shape or want the feel of titanium between your legs… even though it’s geared titanium
      • THEN will call you Prob-eee JR, publicly Flog you, rip your patches off and… steal your beer… and give you a t-shirt.
And if you are a Dudette:
  • disregard all the rules and regulations and qualifications noted in the O&Is. 
  • Foxy Mamas can pretty much do whatever they want @ the back of the pack, cuz we like it when Foxy Mamas hang with us.
  • and there won’t be no f’n cat fights in the pits. Cuz the few wives at the Back of the Pack know that the married dudes… ain’t got no game.
  • but you may want to roll a single speed, may. but we won’t judge you… if you wear that tight spandex s*^t… that tight spandex s*^t that is banned… at the back of the pack. 
  • get it?
what to do next:
  • email The Judd:
  • or email Mad Rhino:
  • send us a picture of your SS machine
  • send us a few words on why you want to live the Back of the Pack lifestyle
  • convince us you’ll live and uphold the BPR O&Is.
  • and if you want to roll’n with killer patches, let us know ASAP!
  • it’s that simple
full disclosure:
  • patches ain’t cheap, like $75 a set, or more. so figure that s*^t out, or roll white t-shirt & sharpie style… the trend started by Spencer
and if you don’t qualify:
  • you can still be our friend, so all is not lost
  • we’ll still sell you a t-shirt, some socks and maybe a hat
  • you can still hang with us at the ‘races’… but bring some beer, dude
by the way, there are Benefits to Roll’n at the Back of the Pack:
  • chicks will dig you…. maybe, maybe not
  • dudes will want to be you… or not
  • you’ll be roll’n in killer patches and killer gear
  • you’ll dig drinking beer with us, riding with us and chill’n with us
    • and we’ll dig drinking your beer.
  • and most of all… The Ludacracy @ the Back of the Pack will change your life, for the better… or not

And Finally: we ain’t providing ‘FREE’ healthcare, because there ain’t no thing as FREE healthcare. Right? 

2 thoughts on “the door is Cracked Open for YOU to join The Crew… dude, dudette

  1. The Roaming USA Chapter is in Full Effect in Silver City. I am organizing a group ride from Antelope Wells to Banff. Single, 29 (six more months), Rigid. All takers we will be meeting at the Mexican border in 2 days. That is all.


  2. Yo cjell money ,aka cjell mone, We dudes are so jealous of The Roaming USA Chapter. We'll get a specific patch designating the roaming chapter, by the way. Man, have a great group ride. Wish I was able to join.


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