Last spring I talked to my friends at Black Sheep Bikes about a top secret mission. I asked James and Todd if they could build me the ultimate Black Sheep styled and painted like my father’s 1939 Schwinn. Of course I wanted a ultra high tech titanium beast. But I wanted the machine painted in Black Sheep black with Schwinn like graphics. Well, it was a tough wait for this ultimate single speed machine. But its worth it. Unbelievable! (Or as we would say IN THE GUTTER: UN-F*^KIN-BELIEVABLE!)
So, why would I go through such a top secret mission? Why would I have the Black Sheep dudes build the ultimate retro Black Sheep? Well, the Professor Emeritus of Back of the Pack Racing deserves a new single speed. Yep, that 39′ cruiser was wicked cool for a 7 year old Theodore (Teddy) Rohwer. But the old dude with titanium knees deserves a modern machine, a titanium Black Sheep, the baddest Black Sheep on the planet.
So, I know you are all still confused. What mere mortal would have such a sweet bike & such an EXPENSIVE bike built for a 78 year old dude? Hey man. We all get old, but we can still have style! We just can’t stop living until we ‘stop living’, if you know what I mean.
AND since I am a brilliant (and good looking) dude I predicted your questions and provided answers. JUST remember. I’m 100% serious in everything I do and say. Oh wait. If you think I’m serious, then you obviously don’t know me. But that’s cool.
A: You can’t have a 4th sheep until you have a 3rd sheep. Right?
Q: Why another highlight?
A: Well 1) because I can, 2) because it’s cool, 3) because A NORMAL person wouldn’t. I’m not normal.
Q: What was the wait like?
A: Waiting for the ultimate Black Sheep is probably like pregnancy & child birth. Not that I’m a woman or have a wife & kids. But pregnancy and child birth COULD BE as bad as waiting for the ultimate single speed.
A: Rich Kid? Nope. I’m just irresponsible. Well, I have no responsibilities and I’m irresponsible. Does that make sense to you? Does to me.
A: F*^ikin’ A. That’s the plan. If The Professor Emeritus wants to ride the retro sheep, then he can have the sheep. But I have one MAJOR concern. The Professor Emeritus has a bad habit of cashing out & getting horizontal on the couch while watching The Weather Channel on MUTE! AND due to this irresponsible behavior, any and all valuable ‘things’ could be left unguarded in the garage. Yeah, most of the time the garage door is wide open when The Professor Emeritus is cashed out.
Q: What does a dude / dudette need to do to get a retro Black Sheep, courtesy of The Judd?
A: Either 1) be the Professor Emeritus or 2) Be a Foxy Mama and a Sugar Mama. But if you are a Sugar Mama then you will indirectly pay for the retro sheep. Right?
A: Hell. I don’t know. Sheep #4. I’m thinking a steel highroller – fixie. Three Highlights should be enough. Shouldn’t it?
A question for you: What’s the risk of The Judd becoming responsible before #4 is ordered?
A Few More Pictures of the Ultimate Black Sheep Single Speed: